We had Rory neutered before we took him home from the animal shelter, and I’ll fully admit I have no idea what the neutering process is. I assume it’s just an animal vasectomy? Once Rory had his fill of kneading, he started cleaning himself. Usually I try to avert my gaze to give him a little privacy during his bathing process, but when he reached one of his back legs toward the sky, I caught a glimpse of something I’d never, ever seen before. It was not furry at all, but it was indeed pink. It looked like a pointy, engorged worm that would travel through your ear canal to get into your brain.
Screen Shot 2014-09-05 at 4. I can see his pink thing! I told Mike in horror. He thought it was hysterical. Apparently, he had already seen Rory’s pink thing long ago, but I have no idea why he wouldn’t tell me that cats have retractable penises that look oddly menacing for something smaller than my pinky finger. Rory has going on, I feel like our entire relationship has changed. I mean, I liken what happened between us to a mother walking in on her teenage son jerking off with a full bottle of Jergens on the nightstand beside him.
It was obvious he was likely licking his pink thing for pleasure, not cleanliness, so I had to wonder—does the blanket kneading give Rory a kitty boner? Every time he’s purring, does his pink thing sneak out for an appearance? When he sleeps on my pillow by my head, is it possible there’s funny business going on? As a post-pink thing viewing female owner of a male cat, I feel this strange need to be more aware of his masculinity. At least with a human boy their little wee-wee is out there from the jump, and eventually they’ll pee on your face when you’re changing their diaper, so you’re really forced to accept that they have junk. We’ve had Rory for over two years now, and this is the first appearance his pink thing has made in my presence.
Is he in his teenage phase now? Is there a cat puberty? In two years’ time he’s seen me naked, creeped on me in the shower, and had serious some voyeuristic tendencies. I’m not so vain as to think my charms transcend the bounds of species attraction, but it all feels a little weird now that I’ve seen my cat’s dick. HE HAS A TINY, THREATENING DICK. Take a second and think about your pets as sexual beings for a second.
I mean, sure, we rationally know that they have those parts, but this is why it’s so horrifying when a dog humps your leg: we don’t want to think about our pets having sexual urges. It’s weird and oddly complicates our relationship. They’re just our furry, asexual best friends who aren’t judgmental or horny and derive all the pleasure they need in life from our pleasant company and scratches under the chin. I’m going to try to act the same around Rory, but there’s definitely a weird vibe every time he cleans himself or purrs unusually loudly. When you learn your cat has a pointy, pink penis, it makes you bashful. He’s still my baby, though. And if ever anyone needed more proof, I’m still a crazy cat lady.
PS: Okay, so I said the hell with it. Upon withdrawal of a cat’s penis, the spines rake the walls of the female’s vagina, which may cause ovulation. Ladies, never scoff at a small penis again because other creatures have SPINES. Katie Hoffman is a writer living in the suburbs of Chicago. She enjoys leftovers, lunges, and laughs. 11″,»credit»:»»,»camera»:»Canon EOS 6D»,»caption»:»Female hand holding a pen and writing a plan in a planner»,»created_timestamp»:»1434043557″,»copyright»:»»,»focal_length»:»60″,»iso»:»100″,»shutter_speed»:»0.
What You Say Your Resolutions Are vs. I am about to adopt my first male kitten ever, and now you’ve got me concerned. I HAVE actually thought about it because, having never had a male pet before, I know it’s got to be there somewhere. Thankfully he was neutered young, maybe that’s a plus. Maybe I should just stick to female pets. OMG you guys are going to laugh at me however it was my usual morning I’m very ill fibromyalgia and Guillain-Barre syndrome so mostly I’m stuck in bed and prior to my son leaving 2go visit with his brother he had come into the room and dumped this kitten on me and I’m like what am I supposed to do with this? Well he knows how I feel about animals and people taking responsibility and accountability for their pet. With that said he named the cat savvy we were so clueless I was for sure that he was a girl until just this morning I saw daddy cleaning herself her genital Parts as I walk back from the bathroom and this little pink thing sticking up? I do not like ignorance whatsoever it is a big pet peeve of mine.